Choices of Life and Death
by Lalaith Quetzalli
Summary: "What else do you want me to do? I died for you!" "You died for her too..." "For her I died in battle. It was easy, I didn't even have to think about it. For you...it was a choice. I chose to die for you." OneShot - Ichiruki - Rated for language


Choices of Life and Death

_By: Lalaith Quetzalli _

_Disclaimer: We all know Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite, so what's the point in this? Besides, were I the owner Ichigo and Rukia would have gotten together a long time ago! To be honest I haven't seen any anime or manga beyond the Captains' arrival to Hueco Mundo, what knowledge I have of what followed is due to Wikipedia and reading fanfics. __I'm sorry but there'll be some serious spoilers here. Still, I couldn't help myself, my muse kept pushing me to write this, so here it is. Pure Ichiruki! (P.S. I have nothing against Orihime, I just don't like her with Ichigo). Enough said, here we go! _

* * *

The battle was over, finally; and everyone had survived, everyone that mattered at least, thankfully. The 'Human Heroes' as the Shinigami had begun calling Orihime, Chad and Uryuu were getting ready to go back to Earth, and hopefully normal lives. They'd been given special seals so their powers would not affect those around them, without having to lose the powers themselves; while this wasn't exactly common practice Soul Society just owed too much to them not to allow them to retain that which through so much hard work and dangers they had earned.

That was also why practically every single shinigami the humans had ever met was right then in the biggest empty training ground, celebrating. They had much to celebrate: Aizen and his army were dead, Soul Society had won the war, not too many lives were lost; and it was also the best way to express their good wishes to the human heroes before they left…or at least, most of them.

Kurosaki Ichigo, substitute Shinigami, probably the only living-shinigami in known history, was nowhere to be found; even though he was supposed to be ready to leave with his friends back to the Material World. After all, he too had a life waiting for him. And yet, no one had any need to ask about his whereabouts, his nakama had a pretty good idea where to find him…wherever She might be.

* * *

"Rukia…"

His voice broke her out of the reverie with a mighty crash. It was so sudden that for a second she wasn't exactly sure what she had been doing before he'd arrived. And then she caught sight of her surroundings: the clearing, the trees in the distance, the sunset…that's right, she'd gone to reminisce about the past.

"Why the hell are you hiding now of all times, midget?" Ichigo called harshly.

"Hiding?" Rukia called, for moment still dazed, until her eyes narrowed. "Why would I need to do such a thing? The war is over. And who exactly are you calling a midget?"

"That's exactly why I'm asking." Ichigo replied, slightly more harshly than intended. "They're all at the party, to celebrate that Soul Society won, to wish us a good return home. And you? You're here instead…Why?"

He didn't want to admit how much her absence from the party had hurt him, how breathless her disappearance for even the shortest span of time left him, how absolutely useless he felt when she wasn't by his side. That wasn't him, or it wasn't supposed to be, his life wasn't supposed to be about her…and yet it was.

"Answer me midget!" Ichigo demanded, losing his patience.

He heard her whisper something, but her voice was so low he couldn't make out more than a couple of words: one his name, and the other that of one of his nakama.

"Have you gotten smaller, midget, because I remember your voice to be able to reach before?" Ichigo quipped with a smirk at her.

"I said I didn't want to interrupt in your time with Orihime!" Rukia finally screamed.

Ichigo was so shocked by that he nearly fell on his backside, at it was he had to give a couple of steps back to avoid losing his balance.

"What…the hell…do you mean with that?" He finally managed to ask.

"Exactly what I just said." Rukia's voice was quiet again, though it could still be heard. "You don't need to worry about me anymore, Ichigo, you said it yourself, the war is over. You can go back to your home, to your peaceful, normal life now. I won't be bothering you anymore."

"What the…" Ichigo had a very heavy feeling inside him, he didn't like it.

"You can stop worrying about me now Ichigo. I won't interfere in your life anymore."

"What if I want you in my life? Huh?"

"You don't. We both know all I've done is turn your life upside down, make it more complicated than it should have been. You deserve a normal life Ichigo, a peaceful, happy, human life. You will only be able to get that if I stop interfering in it."

"What if I don't want you to stop being a part of my life? I like you there, damnit!"

"Please understand Ichigo, This is not right…"

"To hell with it! I just won a fucking war, I don't care anymore about what's right and what isn't. I want you in my life, period."

"You say that now, but in time you'll understand this is for the best. We'll meet again, of course, when your time comes, but until then you deserve to have your own life, with your family and friends, with those you love."

"…"

"Go back to Orihime, Ichigo, you shouldn't make her wait."

"Inoue? What does she have to do with any of this? First you tell me you no longer want to be in my life, and then you tell me to go to Inoue. What the hell are you attempting here Rukia?"

"I'm trying to give you your life back!"

"You are my life!"

Silence. That was the only answer he had for what seemed like forever until…

"What?" It was all she could say, her mind had gone totally blank.

"Do you really want me to spell it out for you midget?" He asked, but this time he wasn't smirking, he was truly serious.

"Ichigo, don't play games."

"This is no game."

"I know you care for Orihime."

"Of course I care for her, like I care for Chad, for Tatsuki, for my sisters, even for Ishida…though you better not let him know that."

"You went to rescue her from Hueco Mundo."

"We all did. Just like we all went to get you when Soul Society was going to execute you." He sighed, a hand through his hair. "Why do you find my statement so hard to believe? From what I've been told everyone's known how I felt for a long time, even before I knew myself."

"This is just…it's not logical."

"What has ever been logical about our lives?"

"Nothing. Which is exactly my point. You're human Ichigo, you deserve a normal life…"

"Not fully human, have you forgotten oyaji?"

"The point is you're still alive. You still have a life, one I won't keep messing with!"

"If you don't want to return to Earth I guess we could live here…"

"You are not getting it!"

"No, I'm not. Do you hate me so much that you don't want to see me again? Is that it? Because if that's it just say it already and be done with it!"

"That's not what I meant! Damn it Ichigo, why do you have to make things so complicated?"

"I don't know, they just are. So you don't want to come with me to the Living World, and you don't want me to stay. What do you want then?"

"For each of us to live the lives we're meant to live."

"If things were that way I would have died years ago. Besides, there's no way I'm going back to a life where I'm nothing more than a useless human, no way."

"Why must you keep twisting my words?"

"Because they just make no sense! I tell you I want to be with you, and you want to send me away. You tell me you don't hate me, and yet you still won't be with me."

"It's not right…Orihime…"

"There you go again with what's right, and with Inoue. What does she have to do with anything?"

"Are you really that blind Ichigo, she loves you!"

"Duh, I knew that already. Have known for a while actually. And just like I told Tatsuki when she confronted me about that very same matter, it doesn't change a thing. I don't love her, never will."

"You can't be sure of that, with time…"

"To hell with time! It hasn't changed anything in months and it won't no matter how many years or decades pass. I don't love her, and never will." He made a pause before adding in a lower tone. "I love someone else already."

"Really? Who?"

"Are you really gonna make me say it?" He watched her incredulously. "I've told you already, Rukia. It's all about you, it's always been about you."

"You can't."

"And why not? It's my life, I choose what to do with it!"

"You're just making yourself believe that Ichigo, you don't love me. I'm much too old for you!"

"Just like my father was much too old for my mom, and they still loved each other."

"You're human…"

"You already tried that angle, try something else."

"You're young Ichigo, my own age aside. You're but a child, you cannot know your opinions, your wishes won't change once you grow up…"

"I've lived through enough in the last year, to know the kind of life, the kind of existence I want to live; and who I want to be in it."

"But…"

"God damn it Rukia! What else do you want me to do to prove I love you? I died for you!"

"You died for her too..."

For a second, silence.

There it was, the core of the matter, the real reason she kept bringing Orihime's name up.

Ichigo sighed, he remembered that day, that moment, far too clearly for his own liking. And he also remembered what had made it so totally different from the previous time he had died, when he had done it for her. One key point.

"Yes, I died during our mission to rescue her." Ichigo admitted. "During my fight with Ulquiorra, I guess you can even say I died for her, to save her. But you know what? For her I died in battle. It was easy, I didn't even have to think about it, was dead before I really noticed. For you...it was a choice. I chose to die for you, midget."

"I…don't…understand." Rukia admitted in a low tone. "When did you die for me?"

"After your brother took away my powers. He did take them away you know? I was left there, nothing more than a pitiful little human…but I knew I had to survive, and I had to find the way to regain those powers, so I could go and rescue you. And I did, I became a Shinigami once again, this time through my own power, and I went and saved you, just like I said I would. I laid my life down for you."

"You can't be saying…"

"Come on Rukia, you're the bright one. You know only the dead can become Shingami…"

"You…you're dead!"

"Yes. Have been for almost a year now actually."

"Why…? How…?"

"I told you, it was the only way to become a Shinigami again. Geta-boshi never actually told me, but I'm not stupid. I know what happens when a spirit's chain is broken. I knew what had happened the second Tessai broke mine. The only reason why I can still use my body is because my reiatsu is strong enough to stop it from deteriorating. And Kon keeps it in good condition when I'm gone. I imagine people will start nothing something strange in two, three years at the most, they'll notice I'm not aging. Because, really, how can I age when I'm already dead?"

"You are dead." Rukia couldn't seem to be able to get over that.

"Yes."

"Really dead?"

"I don't know what you consider really dead. I mean, I'm here with you. But if you mean it in human terms, yes, I'm no longer one of the living. Like I said, it's not really obvious just yet. Though I think Ishida might suspect something…anyway, Rukia?"

She was crying, so much he totally forgot what he was going to say to her. At the same time he felt like a bastard, this was all his fault.

"Damn it midget, don't cry." He told her, a hand going through his hair again. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have told you anything."

"No!" She cried out. "You actually should have told me before!"

"What for? It would have end exactly the same way, with you crying."

"No, it changes everything."

Ichigo was about to ask what he meant when suddenly he cried out and began hopping on one foot, he had just kicked him in the shin, and by god it hurt! She had never kicked him so hard, he even felt a lesser man would have ended up with a broken leg from the force of her kick.

"That's for not telling me before that you had died."

Ichigo sighed, head lowered. He really should have told her before, but how was he to know she would react like that? Actually he should have known, he did know her pretty well after all, better than anyone else, living or dead.

Suddenly he found himself on his back, a rather small, but still very beautiful and powerful body keeping him there.

"Would you really stay here with me?" She asked him in a very serious tone, her face barely an inch away from his.

"Is that what you want me to do, midget?" He questioned, a bright light shining in his eyes.

There was no answer, instead he lowered her face to his, crashing their lips together. Neither of them might have any actual experience with kissing (Kon using his body to kiss someone doesn't really count), and yet it seemed instinctual, like so many other things when it came to each other.

They kept kissing for what seemed like a very long time, neither feeling the need to actually say a single word.

He never really answered her question, he didn't need to, it was obvious enough.

She never really told him she loved him, she didn't need to, that too was obvious enough.

* * *

This was them:

Ichigo Kurosaki, substitute shinigami, a man who had chosen death for a chance to save the love of his existence, only to get a second life to live by her side.

Kuchiki Rukia, shinigami, a woman who had chosen to break the rules for what was right, who was willing to die for it, and in the end got to live for him.

Together, there was nothing, no one, that could stop them. Nor life, nor death, nothing.

This was them.

The Black Sun.

The White Moon.

An Eternal Eclipse.

* * *

Someone's said that, according to Tite Kubo, ichigo didn't really die when he recovered his Shinigami powers, I have my doubts on that. But still, wether I'm wrong or right it doesn't matter, in the end this is a fanfic.

I'm actually working on several more elaborate fics for Bleach. I just had to take a break from those and come write this because my muse just wouldn't leave me alone! Kept pestering me to come write this. So here it is. I don't really know when I'll be uploading the other fics, neither of them has enough of it written for me to feel confortable begining it here. Some day.

Till then! Keep hoping, Ichiruki will be real one day!


End file.
